Embroidery

So it's all over and done with. I am so pleased to be able to say that I got $250(as well as A LOT of potential orders)! I'm on cloud nine:)

Shower Corsage

LOVE. IT.

Too bad I won't have another opportunity to wear one!

A little humor for you...

One, of many, favorite passages from A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson- our latest book-club selection:

After reaching a mountain top, the author found a man taking mysterious readings of some sort...
"He noticed me watching and said, in a tone that suggested he was hoping someone would take and interest, "It's an Enviro Monitor."
"Oh, yes?" I responded politely.
"Measures eighty values-temperature, UV index, dew point, you name it." He tilted the screen so I could see it. "That's heat stress." It was some meaningless number that ended in two decimal places. "It does solar radiation," he went on, "barometric pressure, wind chill, rainfall, humidity- ambient and active- even estimated burn time adjusted for skin type."
"Does it bake cookies?" I asked.
He didn't like this. "There are times when it could save your life, believe me," he said, a little stoutly. I tried to imagine a situation in which I might find myself dangerously imperiled by a rising dew point and could not. But I didn't want to upset the man, so I said, "What's that?" and pointed at a blinking figure in the upper left hand corner of the screen.
"Ah, I'm not sure what that is. But this-" he stabbed the console of buttons- "now this is solar radiation." It was another meaningless figure, to three decimal places. "It's very low today," he said, and angled the machine to take another reading. "Yeah, very low today." Somehow I knew this already. In fact, although I couldn't attest any of it to three decimal places, I had a pretty good notion of the weather conditions generally, on account of I was out in them. The interesting thing about the man was that he had no pack, and so no waterproofs, and was wearing shorts and sneakers. If the weather did swiftly deteriorate, and in New England it most assuredly can, he would probably die, but at least he had a machine that would tell him when and let him know his final dew point."

He is merciless and HILARIOUS. And he totally made me want to buy a lot of overpriced gear and hike through some beautiful mountains.
Book club tonight:)

By the way, who decided that this September was going to be the busiest month of all time? I am plumb tuckered out and it isn't over yet.
I really shouldn't be on here right now. I need to be preparing food for tonight and for the baby shower tomorrow morning, but I miss having time to sit and write out my thoughts. So I am taking some whether or not I should. ...not that I really wrote down many of my own thoughts. I wrote down some of Bill Brysons to be exact. But that is good enough.
Love to all!

P.S. Didn't ever get around to reading the August chapter in The Happiness Project, nor have I read September's chapter. No new goals, no thought about goals at all. I am oficially falling behind! I really should work on catching up because I am so close to finishing. I am terrible about starting grand projects like this and then getting distracted by other shiny, new projects. There is just too much I want to do!

I'm back in the saddle again

Projects, projects, projects. I knew I would get around to this sort of stuff again when the summer ended!

Happy.

Mom and Alton Brown know best

I've been making my mom's meatballs for years now. I've always thought they were pretty wonderful, but she IS my mom and you know how that goes. Anyway, I had all of the ingredients to make them yesterday but I totally blanked out on the temp. and time. Then, of course, I couldn't find the recipe so I went to the Internet to find something similar. Alton Brown has one that is remarkably similar to my mothers. Way to go mom- would be Food Network Star! Alton's had Parmesan cheese and slightly different spices than my moms but I had already added the parm a long time ago on my own. I thought he had something with the red pepper flakes though so they got added into the rec. that I now have on file again. The meatballs were fabulous as usual and I figure it's about time I share:)

Meatballs(part mom, part Alton, part me:)
1 1/2 lb meat(can use all ground beef or a combination of different types you like)
1/2 cup Parmesan
1 egg
1 1/2 tsp dried basil(I actually use a little less)
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 cup breadcrumbs(I use a bit more- not quite 1/2 cup)
1/2 small onion FINELY minced

400 degree oven
Mix all ingredients with your hands.
Form into uniform balls (use a Tbsp measuring spoon if you need to).
Place on baking tray- make sure they are not squished up next to each other!
Bake for 20-25 min.- until nicely browned.
**Tip- use the hollowed out bread(see below) for homemade breadcrumbs:)

Add the meatballs to your favorite sauce, let them simmer for a bit and they are ready to go.

Last night I served mine on crusty, whole grain baguettes(hollow out one side of each baguette-to make eating the sandwiches easier) with fresh spinach, REAL Parmesan cheese and sliced mozzarella(If you make this recipe, please get the good stuff for me!!!) I put them under the broiler for a minute and they were BEAUTIFUL. I wish I had taken pictures!
There are so many options(other than spinach and cheese) for topping them. I actually baked some eggplant to add to mine last night, but I totally ruined it!!! Oh well!

Make them sometime and think of me...and my mom....and Alton Brown.

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep, for You alone O LORD make me dwell in safety -Psalm4:8

Reading Crazy Love by Fancis Chan right now. I'm not far enough into it to say whether or not I love it, but I certainly do appreciate the first chapter so far. The author is encouraging all of us to shut up for a while, take a step back, and look at our God- really look at Him and be in awe of what we see.
I also happen to have joined a class on Job where I worship. Last night, during class, I was looking at some of the things God said in answer to Job at the end of the book. It is God, Himself, showing us how big He is and how little we are. It's amazing and humbling. Tonight, the foundations of the earth.

"Now prepare yourself like a man:
I will question you, and you shall answer me.

Where were you(Job) when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.
Who determined it's measurements?
Surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
To what were it's foundations fastened?
Or who laid it's cornerstone,
When the morning stars sang together,
And all of the sons of God shouted for joy?"
Job 38: 3-7

I, for one, am glad I was not asked all of this directly by God.

Back to Chan... "This is why we are called to worship Him. His art. His handiwork, and His creation all echo the truth that He is glorious. There is no other like Him. He is the King of Kings, the Beginning and the End, the One who was and is and is to come. I know you've heard this before, but I don't want you to miss it."

We can all rest easy tonight knowing that we are cradled by a strong, powerful God. He will gladly shoulder our troubles. Peace is ours for the taking(right Mo?)
Enough said. Goodnight:)

Just realized: This fits in nicely with the "Think on these things" post. I declare that this is the first of the "Things that are true" posts. Truth #1- Our God is an awesome God!
Now, really, enough said.

July and August rolled into one

Wow. So it has been more than a month. Yikes. We had swimming lessons for two weeks and then a trip to South Carolina for two weeks and I guess I didn't find any time for the computer(to speak of) during all of the craziness. Gretchen's goals for August were all about money. I did work on that a bit. Anyone who knows me knows that money is a tough subject for me. We've got debt...debt from our college years, debt from medical bills, debt from buying big-ticket items: new(to us) van, air-conditioner, etc. Trust me, there's more. There is no point in going into it all. We work on it, but it is a long, slow process. I work really hard to be frugal with our money. I'm just not a "spender", so I struggle with knowing exactly what to do to improve our situation on my end. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are more things I could do, but I also want to stay sane. Really, the only thing I needed to work on diligently for the month was my ATTITUDE about our money issues. I pretty much stink at keeping my attitude where it should be in that area of my life. I think I did a good job this month though. My goal was to acknowledge that I am doing a good job and to give the rest of it to God. It's one of those things that we have all heard our whole lives... "Be anxious for nothing". Living it, well that is an entirely different matter. It's a choice. I just had to decide to do it. I'm not saying that I won't have issues with that particular problem any more, but I'm all about celebrating my victories- and this month I was victorious.

So, on to August. Her goals in August are all spiritual. I absolutely intend to read the chapter and see if I can formulate any goals of my own based on her ideas; but I have another idea for my main goal this month. Back to the word celebrate... I want this month to be about celebration. I've gotten too much bad news lately to know what to do with it all. In typical fashion, upon hearing the latest bit of blech, I prepared to wallow. There is just too much pain, too much confusion, too much, too much, too much. Oddly enough, I never got around to the wallowing. Instead, all I seem to be thinking about these days is the "knock the breath out of you" beauty of the promises God has made to us. I feel too filled up by them to stay quiet about it all. :) And why would I try? So, I'm asking for your help. I want you to bring it. Bring me all the positive you can find. Help me celebrate! Not winning today are you satan? How does that feel? Hurts huh? Well, deal. There's more of that coming your way.
O.k., if it doens't excite you to tell satan off, there is something wrong with you.
I for one am pumped.
Have an awesome day!!!

Don't ask questions... just enjoy the laugh!

I only have time for this teaser... leaving for dental appointments in about 15, but I just had to post this. And, yes, we are back from S.C.(GREAT trip by the way!). I'll be back later with more:)

Things and such...

So I decided that one goal was enough for June. Taming the tongue...yeah that was plenty to keep busy with. I suppose that I should read the July chapter this week while I have the chance. Most of us are down with a nasty cold this week, so our summer plans have come to a temporary stand-still. I wish it wasn't so, but I am MISERABLE. ...not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I am not handling the "cooped up with four sick kids while sick myself" thing. At least I can actually think today, so I am going to make an effort to "pull up" and get myself out of this funk.
I started reading Cross Creek by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings last night. It's one of those things I've been meaning to do for a long time now. My mom gave it to me after telling me that she lent it to my sister but "she didn't actually read it". I must not let her down. I have some time since I'm not reading War and Peace for book-club; so, like I said, I finally took the plunge.

It's really beautiful.
Listen to this:
"There is of course an affinity between people and places." And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of waters called He Seas; and God saw that it was good." This was before man, and if there be such a thing as racial memory, the consciousness of land and water must lie deeper in the core of us than any knowledge of our fellow beings. We were bred of earth before we were born of our mothers. Once born, we can live without mother or father, or any other kin, or any friend, or any human love. We cannot live without the earth or apart from it, and something is shrivelled in a man's heart when he turns away from it and concerns himself only with the affairs of men."
I'm afraid it might take me a while. It's not a particularly fast read. But I am looking forward to it.

I just finished A Girl Made of Dust by Nathalie Abi-Ezzi. Loved that one. Go read it!!!! And then tell me that you read it and we can have a lovely chat about it:)
From the book- jacket: "Set in a Christian village in Lebanon during the 1982 Israeli invasion and narrated with candid intensity by a bright-eyed eight-year-old girl, A Girl Made of Dust explores one family's private battle to survive in the midst of civil war."

In other news, flower making has screeched to a halt since summer began. I miss it. Not just flower making, but being creative in general. I feel as if part of me is wilting... But the time just doesn't seem to be there to do all I need and want to do. Oh well, life is cyclical. I know that I will get back to it.
I suppose I should end this for now. Not that I plan to get up and do much of anything, but the more I write the more rambly this will become. I am fading fast.
Good day friends, and may the cold germs stay far away from you and yours.

My sweet, BIG girl.

This makes my heart ache a little bit. A glimpse into the future...

James 3: all of it

I've been struggling lately to figure out whether or not some of my conversations are starting to lean toward gossip.
A few years ago I did some thinking on this same subject. The end result of my pondering was this truth:

People don't want to be discussed when they aren't present(exceptions, of course, apply). Brilliant, I know.

Somewhere along the line I think I started to forget that again! Ironically, I picked up The Happiness Project today to read June's chapter and there is a section on gossip in it. I thought it would be interesting to see what someone with a different(non-Biblical) viewpoint would say. This is the paragraph that really stuck out to me:
"But although gossip may serve an important social function and it's certainly fun, it's not a very nice thing to do- and I always felt bad after a gossipy conversation, even though I enjoyed it at the time. I wanted to stop telling unkind stories, making unkind observations (even if factually accurate), or being too inquisitive about sensitive subjects. even expressions of concern can be tricked-up forms of gossip: "I'm really worried about her, she seems down, do you think she's having trouble at work?" That's gossip. Even harder, I wanted to stop listening to gossip."

Interesting.

I'm not a malicious person and if you ask me to keep something to myself- I will. But there are fuzzy areas like Gretchen Rubin highlighted. Areas that I like to pretend are something other than what they are.
I don't believe that this is the kind of problem that can be cooked down to a simple list of dos and don'ts. There are too many factors in play. Since I can't come up with a list of rules to follow, I want to challenge myself to do more "thinking before I speak" especially if the subject is a person other than myself.
If you are one of the few people that I talk about intimate stuff with(there aren't many- I'm kinda private), I expect you to hold me accountable. Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (I can hear Monica quoting that- wise woman)

Goal #1 for June: Think before you speak!

Solving for X

When you are having issues with anxiety, people love to quote Philippians 4:6,7:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

I always found that to be very frustrating. I would try to do what that verse says to do when anxiety over something would overwhelm me. I would pray. I would try to "give it to God" but as soon as I dumped my garbage I would start collecting more(very often the SAME stuff I had just given away). I was missing something. I have come to believe that that "something" is in the verses immediately following Phil. 4:6,7. Verses 8&9 say:

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

I needed to make a conscious effort to refill that newly empty space with different stuff. Good stuff.
My plan is to spend some time on this exercise starting, appropriately, with the first in the list- things that are true. If you would like to, think on that for yourself too. Different things will "speak" to different people. Don Truex(our preacher) did a lesson recently called "Think on These Things" in which he offered some of his ideas for things to think on in each category. I liked a lot of what he had to say. I am excited about going back through my sermon notes, meditating on the good stuff in there and adding my own ideas as I go.

That's it for today. As Paul said at the end of this very letter:
"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all"!

Book club meeting for The Five People You Meet in Heaven -Mitch Albom

These are a few of the lovely ladies of book-club:)...wish they were all in the pic. Love them!!!


Our last book-club meeting featured carnival food(yes, there was a carnival in the story!). The hostess made amazing funnel cake from scratch!! And the chocolate covered frozen bananas... Heavenly!!! FYI- the Fritos are topped with chili, cheese and sour cream(the chili was my contribution). Yum and double yum.

A quote from the book(that we had a great discussion about by the way):
"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of it's handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."
-Mitch Albom

This book wasn't my favorite, nor was it my least favorite.
The author wanted to address the subject of our purpose in life. I don't know that I agreed with him 100%, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It made me work to figure out what I DO think. And here's what it is... Wait for it...

Our purpose in life:
To seek God.
To love both God and His children.
To help others find God.

Some of the beautiful verses I read studying about this are- Eccl. 12:13, psalm 63, Matt. 22:36-40, Luke 19:9, 1 John, Acts 17:22-31.

Two of our thought questions as a group were:
Using what you know of on this earth, what would heaven be like for you?
and
What five people would you meet in heaven?(In the book the main character interacted with 5 people who helped him to understand his life on earth.)
Anyone want to share what your answers would have been?

It was worth it

Well, that wasn't my favorite 48 hours, but it could have been a lot worse I suppose.
Turns out I am my father's daughter.
I have the same chronic condition he has- diverticulosis(sp?). I am sure I will learn a lot more about the specifics when I do my follow-up visit with the Dr., but, if I understand correctly, it is basically inflammation in the diverticulii(found in the wall of the colon). It is potentially dangerous if the inflammation turns into infection. If they do get infected, the diagnosis changes to diverticulitis- which my dad has has struggles with more and more the older he gets. If it is caught early, they can treat the infections with antibiotics, but if not abscesses can form and that is the dangerous part.
I am young and reasonably healthy though, so we should be able to manage it quite nicely. I will have some dietary restrictions, but it won't be too bad. Hey, I'll take it over some of the other problems I could have had!
The Doctor gave me some medicine to start taking to heal the inflammation. I'll start that today. I'm hoping for no side-effects. If there are side-effects, I usually get them- even the weird ones.
So, a lot to be thankful for- including peace of mind.:)
p.s. I have had a WONDERFUL time making up for all of the eating I didn't do all day Wednesday and half of the day Thursday!!!
*Update*
I do have diverticulosis, but I was wrong about a couple of things(guess I should have waited till the follow-up visit before I gave all that info.!). The diverticulosis is not what they are treating for, nor was it the problem causing my symptoms. I have some mild inflammation in my diverticulii(sp?), but it isn't a big deal at this point. The condition causing my problem is ulcerative proctitis(again- sp?!). It is related to ulcerative colitis, but it is much less scary. Ulcerative colitis happens higher up in the colon and is MUCH harder to treat. Many people suffering with ulcerative colitis spend a lot of time in and out of the hospital. My ulcers are found lower down(in the rectum to be precise. Sorry if the terms bother you. I myself, am past all that.) and it responds well to treatments. Like ulcerative colitis, it isn't curable. It will come and go throughout my life. When the ulcers are present they will use drugs to try and speed the healing so I won't have any complications(abscesses). So, it isn't fun or pleasant, but it is manageable and for that I am thankful.:) I really hope I got it right this time. A third correction would just be embarrassing.
And as for side-effects... I have been getting a lot of headaches since starting the med.s. The Dr. said that is a common side effect. Unfortunately I will probably just have to put up with it. I guess there are worse things!

Getting ready for the best day of my life

I just had my last meal until Thurs. afternoon(earliest).
Lentil soup, salad, garlic toast(millet and flax bread), peach medley applesauce topped with blueberries, and some fancy pants cheese from Switzerland.
Soon to follow: chocolate "ice cream" made from coconut milk with banana slices.
It is a meal to be proud of, but what I really wanted was greasy pizza.

Tomorrow the fun starts.

If you haven't had a colonoscopy before you don't want to know.

Think of me when you partake of... really ANY sort of food tomorrow. If you can chew and swallow it, I will probably be hungry for it.
Nite all

Goals for May(been thinking about them for a while now, just not POSTING my thoughts;)

May's focus: Having more fun
I'll be honest. I just can't get on board with this one. I am spending this year trying to become a happier person and I want to look to the Bible to learn how to do that. The Bible says very little about this topic. Does the Bible say that we can't have fun? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Buuuut, having said that, I think that the pursuit of fun is too much of a priority for most Americans. If we don't have enough fun, we tend to feel persecuted.
The Bible does talk about joy. We are capable of being joyful people even if we don't have an ounce of "fun" in our lives. That joy comes from having a relationship with God. It comes from knowing that we are heirs with Christ, and we have a Father that loves us. Paul and Silas had that joy even in prison and they sang songs of praise to God instead of falling into depression. I can't think about this topic without thinking of some of our brethren in Ethiopia today. Some of them spend every day working hard just to survive. They don't go to the movies, or start book-clubs, or try out trendy new restaurants, or go to amusement parks but, as a rule, they are a joyful people. Maybe the lack of "white noise" in their lives makes it a little easier to focus on God. I know that I spend an awful lot of time trying to be physically comfortable in this life and I think that it causes my spiritual self to atrophy. Does that mean that I am going to try and have a miserable life so that I can better focus on God? No. But I do want to get my priorities straight.
Joy can be mine no matter what life brings me. Right now, life is good. The blessings are pouring in. How much easier should it be right now to want to "wake the dawn with praises"?
There it is then- I need to focus this month on counting my blessings. And if the near future finds me with no physical blessings to count, that doesn't leave me empty handed. The lack of physical blessings will just make the spiritual ones shine that much brighter. I am a child of the Most High God and heaven is mine!
So, here's to the first real post in a while... It feels nice.

Little flowers waiting to go to their new homes.

Seersucker cabbage rose for my hair...Yum!

My sons "ordered" flowers from me for their teachers(it's Teacher Appreciation Week). Isn't that cute?

Time is flying...

Apparently I started this blog when I had a lot less to do! I've been missing some days and forget about anything deep!!

Here is the weekend synopsis:

Tale of two cities finished. Loved it. And the French food at our book club meeting wasn't too shabby either:) Fried brie... Yeah, it was a good night.

Coming up: The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

I'm excited about it. And, yes, one of the reasons I'm excited is that it is SHORT.

Saturday I got to go on a date with my husband! A WONDERFUL couple we know kept our children so David and I could go out to dinner. We went to Ceviche which was a lot of fun. I highly recommend the chorizo with potatoes and onions in brandy sauce. OH my was it good. That and the white chocolate creme brulee in a dark chocolate shell. I didn't mind that either. There is a picture of me enjoying it somewhere...

This week I am working on a project that I am really excited about. I am framing four of my flowers for a baby's nursery. I think it is going to be pretty stinkin cute! I'll let you be the judge when I am done.

Alright, I am going to get a few more things done. I can't get behind this week!!

Love to all,

Erin

Oh, and the pictures are from our day at Nature's classroom. I guess I need to get a good picture of Morgan next time!

Wednesday(Yep. That is about as exciting as this post gets.)

Appt. #1 is over, appt. #2 will be GLARING at me from the calendar for a whole month. I get to have the dreaded colonoscopy. At least I feel like I am in good hands.

On another note, am I the only one who wants to throw the GPS navigator out the window? That thing tries to get me lost at least every other time I use it. It tried to make me turn down a street that didn't exist today. I was LUCKY to get to my Dr.s appt. on time!

I'm afraid this lame attempt at a post will have to be it for the day.
Things to do. Places to be.
Love to all- especially any of you who have been to a GI.
Erin

Monday morning

I'm having the "end of vacation" blues. Spring break is over and it is back to normal life. It is all a mental thing for me... We didn't do anything over spring break that I can't do with the two little ones during a regular week. And, it is really EASIER to have just two to take care of rather than four. But still, I feel the way I always have when school starts- melancholy. I miss David more this morning too and he wasn't even home last week! It doesn't help that I have a doctor appointment looming this Wednesday. I don't want to get into over-share territory, but I have been having some digestive issues that need to be addressed. I've been through this before in my early twenties and it isn't fun. I will go through the unpleasant tests though to get some answers. The likelihood is that it is not a life threatening problem- just irritating and mildly uncomfortable; but there is always the possibility that it is something really bad and my mind is REALLY good at coming up with those worst case scenarios! Peace of mind... will I ever really own it?
The good news for the week is twofold:
1) We really did have a good spring break. One of my April resolutions is to have more fun with my kids and I made good on that last week. Sean didn't even find a whole lot to complain about. I kept him too busy!
2) I have a name for my business: Twiddly Bits. I am moving closer toward my goal!

Now to push past the mean reds and get something done TODAY...

108 pages down, 266 to go

"But, the comfort was, that all the company at the grand hotel of Monseigneur were perfectly dressed. If the Day of Judgement had only been ascertained to be a dress day, everybody there would have been eternally correct. Such frizzling and powdering and sticking up of hair, such delicate complexions artificially preserved and mended, such gallant swords to look at, and such delicate honour to the sense of smell, would surely keep anything going, for ever and ever. The exquisite gentleman of the finest breeding wore little pendent trinkets that chinked as they languidly moved; these golden fetters rang like precious little bells; and what with that ringing, and with the rustle of silk and brocade and fine linen, there was a flutter in the air that fanned Saint Antoine and his devouring hunger far away."
Charles Dickens- A Tale of Two Cities

Soaking up the Florida Sun

Mummies and Fire

The creative process is very messy...
Today I let the kids make mummies and coffins for their mummies out of various objects: shoe-boxes, paper, markers, tape, small action figures, toilet paper, coins, etc., etc. I thought about taking a picture of the obscene mess that they made, but they were all wearing their skivvies and I didn't think it would be appropriate to post such a picture- hilarious as it was. Of course Lilly did not make a mummy. She made some sort of treasure box. And the baby just colored his lips blue with a marker. Good times.
The boys then went on to fashion a homemade OVEN outside. I really should take a picture of it tomorrow. I'm not sure what they were planning to cook... perhaps the locust that Sean took a nibble of this afternoon? (He said it was disgusting). Sean came to me wanting to know how to light a fire in it. Apparently they had already tried at least one method but it did not produce any flames for them. I guess they have watched too many shows about surviving in the wilderness. Idiot that I am, I gave them some alternate ideas- banking on the fact that they wouldn't be able to implement said ideas properly. My gamble paid off. Still no flames. In desperation Morgan tried to sneak some matches outside but I caught him. They eventually tired of this venture and came inside to take showers. The yard was thoroughly trashed.

The clean-up is worth it though. At least they aren't sitting inside in front of some sort of screen all day!
And with that, I'm out. Goodnight all:)

Goals and Gobble-uns

April's goals:

Since I was working on 4 chapters in March (to catch up to the rest of the ladies), I am a little behind posting my April goals. I have had them in my head for a while though...
April is all about increasing happiness in your parenting.
Here is what I plan to work on-

1) Do unto my children as I would have them do unto me
2)Engage with my children more: play, listen, cuddle

Speaking of parenting: Are you familiar with James Whitcomb Riley? He wrote poetry back in the late 1800's. My dad gave me a book of his poetry when I was a kid. I honestly didn't like much of it, but there are a few that I LOVE. My absolute favorite is one called: Little Orphant Annie. It is using that age old parenting technique of SCARING YOUR KIDS TO DEATH to make them obey.

LITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' bresh the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an'has the mostest fun,
A-list'nin' to the withch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Onc't they was a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,
So when he went to bed at night, away up stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wasn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found was thist his pants an' round about:-
An' the Gobble-uns'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever'one, an' all her blood an' kin:
An' onc't, when they was "company," an' ole folks was there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They was two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble- uns'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the chickens quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'- bugs in dew is all squenched away, -
You better mind yer parunts an' yer teachers fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an'dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble- uns'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

No wonder I am so messed up! It's a great poem though!

HEADACHE!

Ugh. Milk. It tastes so good going down, but the headache that follows is AWFUL. I just want to roll up into a ball and cry.

It's just one of those days...

It's the kind of day when you think, "No. Wait! I can't be a mom TODAY! Can't I take a sick day?"
I do have some things to be thankful for on a day like today though:
* I have a husband who doesn't care that I will get next to
nothing done.
* I have kids that are pretty easy going.
* I can stay in my p.j.s all day if I want to.
* I have a comfortable couch to lay around on.
* I have an endless supply of kisses and hugs.
And I'm sure I could come up with a lot more, but it is really hard to focus through the STABBING PAIN!

Time to go make a strong cup of tea.

Mr. Lorry encounters the "strong woman"

I am not reading A Tale of Two Cities at a very good pace. I can't concentrate on it during the day while the little ones are running about and I am so tired at night that I will inevitably fall asleep if I try to read then. Tonight I left my husband in charge early in the evening and went upstairs to read in a nice, warm bubble bath. Yep. I fell asleep. Luckily the book did not end up in the water. I have now read a grand total of: 52 pages.
Here is one of my favorite funny passages so far. It makes me happy:

( Mr. Lorry (of Tellson's Bank) has just given a poor young woman the news that, apparently, her father is not dead, but alive and just recently released from prison. The young woman has gone into shock.)

"A wild-looking woman, whom even in his agitation, Mr. Lorry observed to be all of a red colour, and to have red hair, and to be dressed in some extraordinary tight-fitting fashion, and to have on her head a most wonderful bonnet like a Grenadier wooden measure, and good measure too, or a great Stilton cheese, came running into the room in advance of the inn servants, and soon settled the question of his detachment from the poor young lady, by laying a brawny hand upon his chest, and sending him flying back against the nearest wall.
("I really think this must be a man!" was Mr. Lorry's breathless reflection, simultaneously with his coming against the wall.)
"Why, look at you all!" bawled this figure, addressing the inn servants. "Why don't you go and fetch things, instead of standing there staring at me? I am not so much to look at, am I? Why don't you go and fetch things? I'll let you know, if you don't bring smelling- salts, cold water, and vinegar, quick, I will."
There was an immediate dispersal for these restoratives, and she softly laid the patient on a sofa, and tended her with great skill and gentleness: calling her "my precious!" and "my bird!" and spreading her golden hair aside over her shoulders with great pride and care.
"And you in brown!" she said, indignantly turning to Mr. Lorry; "couldn't you tell her what you had to tell her, without frightening her to death? Look at her, with her pretty pale face and her cold hands. Do you call that being a banker?"
Mr. Lorry was so exceedingly disconcerted by a question so hard to answer, that he could only look on, at a distance, with much feebler sympathy and humility, while the strong woman, having banished the inn servants under the mysterious penalty of "letting them know" something not mentioned if they stayed there, staring, recovered her charge by a regular series of gradations, and coaxed her to lay her drooping head upon her shoulder.
"I hope she will do well now," said Mr. Lorry.
"No thanks to you in brown, if she does. My darling pretty!"
"I hope," said Mr. Lorry, after another long pause of feeble sympathy and humility, "that you accompany Miss Manette to France?"
"A likely thing, too!" replied the strong woman. "If it was ever intended that I should go across salt water, do you suppose Providence would have cast my lot in an island?"
This being another question hard to answer, Mr. Jarvis Lorry withdrew to consider it."

THAT is good stuff.

The Evolution of Erin in the Morning

Happiness is: Before and After Pictures

STIIIIL working on my assignment:

Section number 4 has me confounded:

Take Time for Projects

Not really Biblical so much.

The author is talking about getting involved with her kids in the inevitable "projects" of childhood that adults usually try to shy away from: making macaroni necklaces, homemade bird-feeders, hand-made presents for grandma, etc. I don't think I ever really grew out of that phase myself. I still love doing stuff like that, so I probably would have skipped over this part if it weren't for this assignment... A Bible verse to go along with this topic. Really?

I think the main point is that we should be trying to connect with our kids. It is good for them and for us. I am going to focus on the good it does for the adults to enter "kid world" because I have an idea about how I can tie a Biblical concept in here...

I think it is good for us, as adults, to take the time and see things through the eyes of our children. They often see beauty or fun where we would not. For instance: One day someone brought up gardens and my daughter exclaimed, "Oh! We have a garden with BEAUTIFUL flowers in it!." I would never, in a million years describe our pitiful yard in such glowing terms. There are no, I repeat, NO planted flowers of any kind in our yard. There are an awful lot of weeds that look slightly flower-like. Those are what she was referring to. She is always picking them and bringing them to me to put in vases around the house. The boys did the same thing when they were younger. Pre-children I would have put much more value on expensive flowers from a store. But now I see the things in my own front yard in a different light. Lowly weeds can be beautiful too. I probably wouldn't have noticed them without my kids though. Or, if I had, I would have seen them in a bad light. I would want to get rid of them, not bring them inside for decorations. It is a simpler, more laid-back view of the world and I like it.

As far as finding a verse to go along with those thoughts... Here is my pick, take it or leave it:

"Jesus...said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it," And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them."

-Mark 10:14-16

Now, I understand that He is talking about purity of heart here. But, I think that theme ties into my post. Connecting with our children teaches us something about what we should be like before God. He wants that same wide eyed innocence and trust from us. He wants us to be honest, tenderhearted, receptive to love, joyful, etc. ...qualities that become more difficult to hold on to as adults. We often see ourselves as the primary teachers, but it appears there is a lot we should be learning from the children in our lives.

I am VERY eager to see what other people found!

Any ideas from you guys?

Assignment #2 continued...

The second section in ch. 4 is: Acknowledge the reality of people's feelings.
This is the section I have spent the most time already, but I am not going to write down all of my thoughts about it right now. I'll save most of that blathering for later.

For this topic I re-read part of Hebrews 4 and looked at the example of Jesus.

"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
-Hebrews 4:15

The author is telling us here that Jesus UNDERSTANDS what we are feeling. Here it is in relation to sin, but I think we can broaden that umbrella without taking advantage of the text. He became fully human and he knows the joys and the pain associated with this life. So, when we feel pain, He does too. When we rejoice, He rejoices with us. If we are following His lead, we will be doing the same with the people around us.
In addition to His example, there are some places where we are actually commanded to be mindful of our fellow-man:

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" - Romans 12:15

"Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." -Matthew 7:12
-If we want understanding from others, we better be quick to give it ourselves!

I am ashamed to say that I am not so good at this one. I want people to be understanding with me but I am often not very understanding in return. Much more coming later on that topic. Suffice it to say, studying this topic has been WONDERFUL for me. Good, good stuff.

The third section is: Be a treasure house of happy memories. The author said this by way of explanation: "Studies show that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present. When people reminisce, they focus on positive memories, with the result that recalling the past amplifies the positive and minimizes the negative. However, because people remember events better when they fit with their present mood, happy people remember happy events better, and depressed people remember sad events better. Depressed people have as many nice experiences as other people- they just don't recall them as well."
I found this to be extremely interesting. I went to a Christian counsellor for a while to deal with, among other things, depression. One of the assignments he gave me was to come up with a "happy book". I was told to get a small photo album, fill it with pictures of the happiest times in my life, and keep it with me all the time. The idea was that if I LOOKED at the pictures I would FEEL those happy feelings all over again. There is really something to that. Now, there is NOTHING in the Bible about creating a photo album, but there are some verses about rejoicing in the beauty of life. The best one I can think of is:

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things."
-Phillipians 4:8

There is so much beauty in scripture. Beauty and inspiration.

Well, that is it for today! ...almost. I promised a report on this morning. It wasn't so bad. I did not bound out of bed with a huge smile on my face, but I did feel a good bit more peaceful than usual and I managed to get out a mostly coherent prayer before breakfast. It's progress and progress is good.
I hope your day was a good one! Mine was. I'll be back tomorrow for #4(I have no idea where to go with that one yet!)

Assignment #2

Assignment #2 is to come up with verses to go with the main ideas of chapter 4

The first section is: Sing in the Morning
Yikes!
I am NOT a morning person. Think of me what you will, but David gets the house up and running each morning. He wakes everyone up and feeds the little ones breakfast while I try to squeeze in every last minute of sleep that I can. Granted, I do have a lot of trouble sleeping off and on, but still... When I'm sleeping WELL I'm still pretty pitiful. By the time I get done with my shower I am o.k., but before then I can barely function.
I just don't feel rested in the morning.
Our system suits us. David doesn't mind. So I happily take his gift and wake up at my own pace while he slaves away. For now, that means that David is the one in charge of setting the "tone" in our household each day. I'm off the hook there:) And he does a great job- he's a natural. I do want to learn to wake up in a happier frame of mind for myself though. My anxiety levels tend to be pretty high first thing. I think I am going to try quoting some of the Bible verses I am memorizing as soon as I am awake enough to do so. And maybe that will get me focused enough to say a coherent prayer! I know that there couldn't be a better way to wake up- focused on God and His word.

I want to wake up and feel the truth of the verse that I have at the top of my blog:

"This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it."
-Psalm 118:24

I want God to be the first thing I think of each morning like the children of Israel were taught:

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
-Deuteronomy 6:6-9

and like King David:

"My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD;
In the morning I will direct it to you, And I will look up."
-Psalm 5:3

Tomorrow morning then... God's word first thing, then try to focus on prayer. I'll let you know when I fail miserably. I know, I know. Have a little faith.(I'm still going to fail miserably.) It's a beautiful goal to end the day with though:)
And, with that, I wish you sweet dreams.
-Erin

20 things that make me happy:

The picture above is of my newest thrift store find- I spent a whopping 89 cents on it. Cute, huh?

On Thursday night I am meeting with some other women from church who have been working through The Happiness Project as a group since January. They are, so far, unofficial but I think they have plans to become so. Anyway, this will be my first time at a meeting. I am looking forward to it. One of the assignments for Thurs. is to come up with a list of 10-20 things that make me happy. I actually found it rather hard to limit myself. (a good sign I think:) Buuut, I understand that most people would not want to listen to my top thousand favorite things, so I made the effort to just pick a few.


1. Date night (with my husband of course)
2. New notebooks
3. Hugs and kisses from Aaron Fyfe
4. Learning something new
5. The smell of books I loved as a child
6. Finding treasures in junk stores
7. A cup of tea(it's even better if it is in a charming cup)
8. Cheese- most any kind as long as it is the best of it's class
9. A good book
10. The beach
11. A nice, long talk with a friend
12. Making things with my hands
13. Fresh flowers in the house
14. A clean house
15. Singing night at church
16. Wearing flowers
17. Knowing that I have done my best at something
18.Coloring books and new packs of crayons
19. Swinging
20. Snuggling with my dog

Just making that list made me happy.

Sally Stitch Push Button Dress Form

This lovely item has found a temporary home at my house. The friend that lent it too me might have a hard time prying it back out of my hands when I am done with it. Well, at least it is a permanent fixture on my blog now:)

A quote from "The Search For Significance" by Robert S. McGee:

" From life's outset, we find ourselves on the prowl, searching to satisfy some inner, unexplained yearning. Our hunger causes us to search for people who will love us. Our desire for acceptance pressures us to perform to gain praise from others. We strive for success, driving our minds and our bodies harder and further, hoping that because of our sweat and sacrifice others will appreciate us more.
But the man or woman who lives only for the love and attention of others is never satisfied- at least, not for long. Despite our efforts, we will never find lasting, fulfilling peace if we must continually prove ourselves to others. Our desire to be loved and accepted is a symptom of a deeper need- the need that frequently governs our behavior and is the primary source of our emotional pain. Often unrecognized, this is our need for self-worth."

I play that game way too often. I like the word that Gretchen Rubin used to describe it. I am a "praise junkie". Sometimes I wonder how often I would do the right thing if there was nobody to see... It's something to think about.


Right now I need to go and listen to the amazing rainstorm that is coming down outside my window. I hope it holds out long enough that I can fall asleep to it:)
Goodnight

Psalm 121 and then to bed with me. We had a toddler who wanted to be awake in the middle of the night last night. We were too tired to fight him, so he ended up in bed with us. He slept fine after that. I did not. Let's just say I was a bit crabby this morning. I turned it around pretty fast though. Having all of this "Happiness Project" stuff buzzing around in my head helps with stuff like that. So, no more bad mood, but I am still wiped.
Maybe I should try to squeeze in a little light reading before bed. Maybe from the next book club assignment...

Ch 1, page 1
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
-Charles Dickens

Maybe not. I have no idea how I am going to get through that one before the next meeting. If I could just read that opening paragraph over and over again I would be fine. I love long lists of things:) Oh well, I'll think about that problem tomorrow. The words are swimming on the screen.
Goodnight friends.

Good day.
Long day.
I exercised. I didn't apologize for my dirty dishes when a friend stopped by:) I spent some time with my awesome sister and parents. I had some great moments with my kids. I was productive and cheerful. I read God's word. In fact, so much good happened today that I think I would fall asleep before getting it all down. It's these days that balance out the nightmarish ones!
It's time to spend some time relaxing with my husband and sleeeep. Yum. Sleep. Good night all! Sweet dreams.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Phil. 4:13

Yet again I am pressed for time. Today has been busy, although pleasantly so. I want to make this a habit though- for myself. So, I will try to get in a few lines before I need to fly out the door again...

Perhaps I downplayed my "fear of failure" a little bit. I deal with A LOT of anxiety. So much so that I was on prescription drugs for a while to control paralyzing panic attacks. I am much better now, but I am always conscious of the fact that it can get out of control under the right circumstances. I want to do my best to avoid that. I have read many secular writings about controlling anxiety. Some of the suggestions help a little bit, but they don't get to the root of my problem. I think that my anxiety is really just another negative side effect of not feeling close to God. Like I said in a previous post, I know that improving my communication with Him is the key to feeling closer to Him. I have a post incubating right now about what hinders my prayer life, so that should be coming soon. But, tonight I will touch on the other end of that dynamic. I need to be in God's word more! I have been working on that by trying to study and/or meditate daily; but I think I have been missing out on an important piece of the puzzle. I need God's word to be filling my mind in a way it hasn't before. It's time to start memorizing. I'm starting small and memorizing verses that will specifically help in moments of anxiety, but I hope to challenge myself more and more as I go. The first group of verses I am putting in my head for good are in Psalm 121.

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills- from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve you from all evil, he shall preserve your soul. The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore."

Beautiful isn't it?

I can't wait.

O.k., that will have to be it for tonight. I'm getting ready to fly out the door.
Love to all- Erin

Walter the dog makes me happy.

So does:

*Lunch with a sweet friend

*An upcoming book club meeting

*A "Ladies Day" at Livingston on Saturday

*A gigantic bag of free, cute clothes for my daughter

*The way that this list unintentionally looked just SO perfect!

I am an island, but I'm not a rock.

Gretchen's goals for March were related to her job. My job is at home, so I can't take steps to move up the pay-scale or get a promotion. But I still deal with some of the same things that she does. Two really stuck out to me: The tendendcy toward being an "island" and having to fight the fear of failure.

#1 I am an island.

The "I am an island" syndrome can make for some lonely days. I tend to stand alone, but it isn't because I don't need anyone else. In fact, truth be told, I am FAR from being self-sufficient. David is very often the one keeping my head above water. I stand alone because I often DON'T have it all together and I don't want anyone to see that. I know I miss out on some amazing experiences that way. That behavior also shows that I often put the emphasis on the wrong things. What is more important? to have nobody in my life but have everyone think I am Mary Poppins or to have incredible friends who see me for who I really am: a non-perfect human being? It sounds pretty ridiculous put that way.

#2 But what if I fail?

Perhaps that isn't the right question to ask because that question is easy to answer. If I put myself out there, I will fail sometimes. I think the real question is: Is it o.k. for me to fail sometimes? Is it o.k. to say the wrong thing? Is it o.k. to get distracted and forget or neglect important things? What if I'm not good at something new that I try? Well, I guess the answer is, again, an easy one. Yes, failure is o.k. It actually fosters growth. And I won't always fail anyway! I think the trick is to learn to feel good about trying whether or not I succeed. It might do me good to learn to laugh at myself a little more too!

My goals for March, then, are based on those two problem areas:

#1 Reach out to others more whether or not conditions are "perfect".

#2 Learn to fight the fear of failure by putting failure into the proper perspective and by internalizing the message of Phil. 4:13.

I think that is good for now. Perhaps tomorrow I will write about some tangible ways that I can strive for those goals...

FYI

Yesterday my heart was pretty troubled. I have been struggling with some things that are threatening to get in the way of the happiness I am trying to let in. ...mostly they have to do with my role as a mother. If you feel like it say a prayer for me and all of the mothers in your life. It is often a tough job and we need all the prayers we can get! And, if you are one of the mothers in MY life, know that I am praying for you! Love to all!

New athletic shoes make me happy!

Happiness and Marriage- Part 2

I really need to work on enjoying the time I have with my husband more than I do.

This is our life together. We won't have another one on this earth and this one is SPEEDING by. It is crazy and overwhelming sometimes. We haven't had a conversation-even a short one- without being interrupted since the year 2000. There are usually children physically attatched to one or both of us. We are always behind on something- laundry, dishes, bill paying, etc. Even if we just do the minimum each day it often feels like too much. We are both perpetually exhausted! I think David is really o.k. with the way things are. I don't think the craziness makes him feel "disconnected" from me. He is happy to steal a kiss over dinner prep (to the sound of "Eeeeew, they kissed on the lips!" in the background), exchange meaningful looks across the dinner table, and snuggle up on the couch at the end of the day to start a movie that we will never finish. I, on the other hand, tend to be restless and dissatisfied. I spend way too much time wishing that we were somewhere else, that we were doing something else, that the kids were somewhere else... And when we do get that kid-free, fabulous dinner out, I'm focused on how soon it will be over. A lot of that is probably understandable. Taking care of small children is tiring. It's o.k. that I feel like I need a break from all of that sometimes. And it is absolutely o.k. to crave time with my husband. But the reality is we have four kids under the age of ten that need us to take care of them and just enough money to pay the bills(usually). This is our life together. We do get those nights out occasionally but, way more often than that, we get those stolen moments in the middle of hectic days. I need to learn to appreciate those moments. I am so blessed to have them. I think if I learned to see their beauty and their value I would be a much happier, more contented person.

So, there is my next goal:

Learn to really live and love in each moment I have with my husband and to thank God every day for them.

The "how" is much less tangible than in the past two posts. For now, I am focused on this goal so it is easy. I think if I just put the goal somewhere where I will see it often it will remind me of all of the things I talked about in this post and, hopefully, that will help me put it into action. If that doesn't work, then I'll do something else. ...simple as that. My life is a work in progress. I won't figure it all out today.

Whew! Two months worth of goals in a scant few days! I'll be glad to get caught up soon! Tomorrow I tackle my goals for March.

Happiness and Marriage- Part 1

Gretchen Rubin dedicates the second chapter of her book: The Happiness Project to the relationship she has with her spouse. (This would have been February's focus.) Exploring the role happiness has in my marriage is fascinating. Today I will talk about the biggest misconception I have about marital bliss: If David does all of the "right" things, I will be happy.

I know that I too often depend on David to make me happy. That is unfair. It is't even reasonable. He is a good man who does his best to honor the commitment he made to love me as Christ loved the church. But that doesn't always translate into happiness for me. First off, he is human and he won't do things perfectly all the time. Second, life isn't perfect. There is pain and sickness and death in this world. He can't take all of that away for me. Third, even if he (or anyone else for that matter) wanted to, he can't force happiness on me. I'm sure he would love it if he could. There have been times when there was "nothing wrong" and he was doing everything he knew to make me happy, but I was still sad. In such instances happiness must come from another source. I have heard so many stories of people who maintained generally happy attitudes despite major trials in their lives: terminal cancer, losing all of their worldly posessions, losing a child, a spouses infidelity... That's not to say they never had a moment of sadness, but they were overall still happy people. Their spouses didn't MAKE them happy- in some cases it was their spouses who were causing the pain. So where did it come from? I guess I can't answer that question for everyone, but I do know this: God promises that, in our relationship with him, we can experience a "peace that passes all understanding" - Phil.4:7-no matter what is going on around us. That sounds an awful lot like true happiness to me.

I am reading another book right now called: The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee. In the first chapter the author makes the point that all of us go through life searching for love and acceptance which, of course, translate into happiness. Too often we try to get those things from the people around us but that doesn't always work and when it doesn't we are left feeling hopeless. The answer to the problem is to search for significance in the proper place- our relationship with God. When we are in a relationship with God this is what we can expect from His end:

God Loves us perfectly for always and He has promised us
rest in Him when this life is over.

Knowing that, why would I EVER struggle to feel happy? Well, I suppose it is because I am human too. I let things in this world act like clouds that block the sun. I let them block my view of God. I think the only way to guard against that is to stay connected with God. Listening to Him speak to me. Talking to Him. When I know that He is there I don't look elsewhere for happiness because it is already there in my heart.

All of this pontification leads me to a goal: Stop depending on David to make me happy! Instead, work on my relationship with God to foster true, deep, unshakeable happiness. I think that it will make my marriage stronger. I think it will lighten my husbands load and save us both from undue frustration. I think it will help me enjoy the wonderful man that he is more fully. I will work on this area of my life by:
a)Making a better effort to stay connected to God through prayer(I need a new prayer journal!)
b)Continuing to work through the book The Search for Significance

...to be continued after the weekend:)

Boring old goals made new and announced publicly(like you care about my eating habits!)

I love to swing. We have a makeshift swing hanging from one of the trees in our yard that I love to use as much as my kids do. I don't get too many turns, but I guess that is just a circle of life sort of thing. So, anyway, I was swinging this past Saturday afternoon and in the euphoric state that I was in, I came to two conclusions. 1- I think Spring is my favorite season and 2- I think this is going to be a year of great change for me. I didn't even really stop and try to figure out why, I just went with that positive buzz. Just a few days later I got invited to be part of a local group that is reading a book called: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She spent a year trying to become a happier, better person and then wrote a book about her journey. She dedicated each month to a different area of growth. The group I joined is reading along month by month and making changes in their own lives using her story as inspiration. I think that it is a fabulous idea. I eagerly dove into the book(I'm behind a couple of months) and was pleased to find out that I like her goal for month one and I have already been working on a similar goal in my own life. Trying to get through February and March goals before the next meeting might be a little much, but doable. I intend to blog about the process. I'm hoping that that combined with accountability from the group meetings will help me stick with it. (I am terrible about starting major projects and not finishing them.)

**Side note- Apparently it takes me about 3 minutes to change the "average" poopy diaper. I know this because I set the timer for steeping my green tea(3 minutes), gathered the supplies, changed the boy, washed my hands and was drying them when the timer went off. I have no idea how it will help me in life to know this, but you never know.

Back to my own Happiness Project... I'm not even sure I want to call it that on my blog, but I haven't landed on a title to reflect my own collection of goals yet. Anyway, the author's goal for January was to boost energy. She reasoned that starting with that would give her more stamina to make further changes in her life. I mentioned that I had already been working on something similar: I want to improve my overall health. I decided a few years ago that I was going to get through the naughty season(Oct. through April or Halloween through Easter) without gaining any weight and actually be healthier than I had been before. I decided all of this and then I got pregnant and I quickly undecided all of it. It's time for me to get back to that goal. Although this time I am starting after naughty season (because it was a particularly naughty one and I am suffering from it). Maybe if I have several months of good habits behind me when next October comes I will do a little better. We shall see. My issue this year isn't so much weight loss... I do have a few I could loose, but I am mostly struggling with health issues that are controllable with diet. I just don't always have enough will power to stay away from the foods that trigger symptoms. A couple of weeks ago I got serious about it and I already feel better. Now I just need to maintain. I am adding on a couple of other healthy habits that I need to work on as well. I don't want to just avoid negative symptoms but push myself toward all around better health. Here is my list:

1. Severely limit sugar. Dessert 2-3 times per week, made with wholesome stuff, and only after a good meal(with the exception of my daily square or two of dark chocolate). Also, watch the areas where sugar can creep in disguised as real food.

2. Limit dairy and grains. They just make me feel bad. Why would I want a moment of pleasure followed by agony?

3. Water. Drink it. My goal- the big 8.

4. Exercise. I love exercising but, for some reason, I have a hard time motivating myself to do it. Not sure why. I'm starting simple and cheap. Exercise in some FREE way(walking, biking, swimming, t.v. aerobics etc.) for at least 30 minutes 3 times a week.

5. I am adding one more: Take my vitamins every day. They really do help! Why not keep it up. Besides, it will help with that water drinking goal.

There. That does it. Those are my first Happiness Project goals. I'm doing great for now. It's a few months down the road I'm worried about. Oh well, one day at a time.

Tomorrow I start on, what should have been, February's goals.