James 3: all of it

I've been struggling lately to figure out whether or not some of my conversations are starting to lean toward gossip.
A few years ago I did some thinking on this same subject. The end result of my pondering was this truth:

People don't want to be discussed when they aren't present(exceptions, of course, apply). Brilliant, I know.

Somewhere along the line I think I started to forget that again! Ironically, I picked up The Happiness Project today to read June's chapter and there is a section on gossip in it. I thought it would be interesting to see what someone with a different(non-Biblical) viewpoint would say. This is the paragraph that really stuck out to me:
"But although gossip may serve an important social function and it's certainly fun, it's not a very nice thing to do- and I always felt bad after a gossipy conversation, even though I enjoyed it at the time. I wanted to stop telling unkind stories, making unkind observations (even if factually accurate), or being too inquisitive about sensitive subjects. even expressions of concern can be tricked-up forms of gossip: "I'm really worried about her, she seems down, do you think she's having trouble at work?" That's gossip. Even harder, I wanted to stop listening to gossip."

Interesting.

I'm not a malicious person and if you ask me to keep something to myself- I will. But there are fuzzy areas like Gretchen Rubin highlighted. Areas that I like to pretend are something other than what they are.
I don't believe that this is the kind of problem that can be cooked down to a simple list of dos and don'ts. There are too many factors in play. Since I can't come up with a list of rules to follow, I want to challenge myself to do more "thinking before I speak" especially if the subject is a person other than myself.
If you are one of the few people that I talk about intimate stuff with(there aren't many- I'm kinda private), I expect you to hold me accountable. Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (I can hear Monica quoting that- wise woman)

Goal #1 for June: Think before you speak!